4. How to Stop Feeling Unworthy of Success
Upon moving to New York City in 2021, I felt extremely unworthy of living in what some call “The Best City in the World.” I moved here to further pursue the wardrobe styling career that I started in Miami, and I was ready to prove that I was a person worthy of external success in the fashion industry and beyond.
For the first 6 months that I was living here, I was on production sets almost every week, saying yes to every opportunity that came my way, and going above and beyond to be booked and busy. After all, Mama has bills to pay, and I did not move here to play (only sometimes).
I very quickly became swept up in the fashion rat race, and although I was beyond grateful for the connections and opportunities, I felt like I wasn’t quite fitting the bill. My confidence was lacking big time, and I felt unworthy of being in certain settings because…I was in the wrong ones.
When I decided to pursue my fashion career in college, I was heavily influenced by my, now then, materialistic tendencies. Once I began to personally and professionally evolve in the years that followed, I realized that I had outgrown a lot of the glitter and gold that allured me into wanting to work in fashion in the first place.
Fortunately for me, I have always been extremely into vintage, second-hand, and sustainable fashion, and I realized that I didn’t have to sacrifice my fashion career at all. I just had to start saying no to every aspect of the fashion industry that no longer aligns with my values, ethics, and integrity, the same ones that had me playing and feeling small for way too long.
My life has done a complete 180 in the past year and some change, and I realized that those feelings of unworthiness throughout my professional experiences were reflecting how I felt about myself. I was continuing to stay in environments that had me feeling unworthy because I didn’t think that I was good enough to be in ones that allowed me to flourish and thrive.
The moral of the story is that if you’re feeling like you are unworthy or “unsuccessful” in any area of your life, take a moment to read the room. Who you spend your time with and where you spend it has an immense impact on your feelings of success. It’s ok to outgrow certain pursuits and relationships, but it’s not ok to make yourself suffer and play small for fear of change.
We only get one life, and it’s too short to be spending it with anyone or doing anything that doesn’t make you feel like you are enough. Sometimes, you just need to exit the race that you never even wanted to be a part of in order to find your own lane. And that’s when you win.
